1. Paranoid Schizophrenia

2. Bipolar Disorder w/ Schizotypal Personality Disorder and Substance Abuse of Alcohol (meaning somewhere in the spectrum of people who drink way more than they should but not quite a full-blown alcoholic)

3. Bipolar Disorder w/ Mixed Episodes

Instead of telling you the entire DSM-IV diagnostic criteria and other stuff about everything I've been diagnosed with, I am just going to tell you some of the most bothersome symptoms I believe I've suffered from either throughout my life or for a good chunk of certain parts of my life.

Affect

A pattern of observable behaviors that is the expression of a subjectively experienced feeling state (emotion). Common examples of affect are sadness, elation, and anger. In contrast to mood, which refers to a more pervasive and sustained emotional "climate," affect refers to more fluctuating changes in emotional "weather." What is considered the normal range of the expression of affect varies considerably, both within and among different cultures. Disturbances in affect include.

blunted
Significant reduction in the intensity of emotional expression.

flat
Absence or near absence of any signs of affective expression.

inappropriate
Discordance between affective expression and the content of speech or ideation.

labile
Abnormal variability in affect with repeated, rapid, and abrupt shifts in affective expression.

restricted or constricted
Mild reduction in the range and intensity of emotional expression.

Avolition

An inability to initiate and persist in goal-directed activities. When severe enough to be considered pathological, avolition is pervasive and prevents the person from completing many different types of activities (e.g., work, intellectual pursuits, self-care)

Depersonalization

An alteration in the perception or experience of the self so that one feels detached from, and as if one is an outside observer of, one's mental processes or body (e.g., feeling like one is in a dream)

Derealization

An alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems strange or unreal (e.g., people may seem unfamiliar or mechanical)

Distractibility

The inability to maintain attention,  that is, the shifting from one area or topic to another with minimal provocation, or attention being drawn too frequently to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli.

Echolalia

The pathological, parrotlike, and apparently senseless repetition (echoing) of a word or phrase just spoken by another person.

Flashback

A recurrence of a memory, feeling, or perceptual experience from the past.

Grandiosity

An inflated appraisal of one's worth, power, knowledge, importance, or identity. When extreme, grandiosity may be of delusional proportions.

Ideas of Reference

The feeling that casual incidents and external events have a particular and unusual meaning that is specific to the person. This is to be distinguished from a delusion of reference, in which there is a belief that is held with delusional conviction.

Illusion

A misperception or misinterpretation of a real external stimulus, such as hearing the rustling of leaves as the sound of voices.

Magical Thinking

The erroneous belief that one's thoughts, words, or actions will cause or prevent a specific outcome in some way that defies commonly understood laws of cause and effect. Magical thinking may be part of a normal child development.

Mood

A pervasive and sustained emotion that colors the perception of the world. Common examples of mood include depression, elation, anger, and anxiety. In contrast to affect, which refers to more fluctuating changes in emotional "weather," mood refers to a more pervasive and sustained emotional "climate."

Types of mood include

dysphoric
An unpleasant mood, such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability.

elevated
An exaggerated feeling of well-being, or euphoria or elation. A person with elevated mood may describe feeling "high," "ecstatic," "on top of the world," or "up in the clouds."

euthymic
Mood in "normal" range, which implies the absence of depressed or elevated mood

expansive
Lack of restraint in expressing one's feelings, frequently with an overvaluation of one's significance or important

irritable
Easily annoyed and provoked to anger.

Overvalued Idea

An unreasonable and sustained belief that is maintained with less than delusional intensity (i.e., the person is able to acknowledge the possibility that the belief may not be true). The belief is not one that is ordinarily accepted by other members of the person's culture or subculture.

Paranoid Ideation

Ideation, of less than delusional proportions, involving suspiciousness or the belief that one is being harassed, persecuted, or unfairly treated.