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I'm so fat
that I suffocated a blue whale after having sex with it
'cause I was on top.
I'm so fat
that every day when I leave my front door with my
family-sized lunch pal my sarcastic neighbor makes the
same comment to me -- "Damn boy...are you fat or
what?..."
I'm so fat
that Marshmallow Man, Lard lad, and I are triplets.
I'm so fat
that a million servings of anything is never enough.
I'm so fat
that my chub extends all the way to the planet Mars and
now bacteria have come to life there by sucking on my
chub as a food source.
I'm so fat
that the local Hardees restaurant is constantly
preparing for a Zack attack in which I visit the
restaurant and order the "Zack combo" consisting of 700
zillion Hardees burgers.
I'm so fat
that I outgrew my new XXXL t-shirt that I purchased from
the Big & Tall after I hit up every house in the
neighborhood on Halloween and ate every piece of candy.
I'm so fat
that everything about me is lard...
I'm so fat
that I need a custom car with custom monster truck
wheels to support all my mass.
I'm so fat
that I must sadly admit that I am a freak show.
I'm so fat
that the high school football coaches repeatedly prank
call my parents telling them I should try out for the
team next year 'cause they could always use another
great run stuffer nicknamed Buffalo Sparkplug.
That's how
fat I am! |
