Complementary therapies I take in addition to my
medication:
GNC Triple
Strength Fish Oil
$19.99
Serving Size: 1 Softgel Servings Per Container: 60
Calories: 15 Total Fat: 1.5g
EPA: 647mg DHA: 253mg
GNC Mega Men Sport Multi-Vitamins
(Bonus Size)
$34.99
Other Cool Stuff:
Tablet/Pill Splitter
$5.99
GoFit Yoga Mat
$24.99
Homedics LCD Digital Scale $39.99
Attention:
This
website is probably more suitable for people whom are 18
years of age or older. I use vulgarity from time to time,
and I sometimes talk about things that are generally
inappropriate. Sorry you 1st graders. Beat it.
Thursday January 31
2008 9:43 P.M.
Umm...How did the Dallas Mavericks not win the NBA Finals in 2004 when they
had this lineup?
As if
having Nash dish it to Dirk isn't enough, they also had
three other all-stars in their potential starting
lineup...
PG Steve Nash
SG Michael Finley
SF Josh Howard
PF Antawn Jamison
C Dirk Nowitzki
Bench -
Antoine Walker (He used to be awesome, I swear) and a
bunch of other decent players like Travis Best, Tony
Delk, Marquis Daniels, Danny Fortson, Shawn Bradley
Oh wait a
second...I know why they didn't win the 2004 NBA Finals!
'Cause the
Detroit Pistons had this roster!!...
Coach:
Larry Brown
PG Chauncey Billups
SG Richard Hamilton
SF Tayshaun Prince
PF Rasheed Wallace
C Ben Wallace
Bench - Mehmet Okur, Mike James, Corliss Williamson,
Elden Campbell, Lindsey Hunter, and Darko Milicic!!!<===Everyone
in Michigan's least favorite player.
Actually, I
think I hate Joey Harrington more than Darko. Darko at
least had a tiny bit of skills. Or maybe it just seemed
like that because we never got a chance to see how bad
he truly is at basketball considering he never got in a
game while playing for the Pistons. Seriously, I swear,
he played like a total of 15 minutes in three
years for us. Harrington on the other hand, for some
reason never got taken out of the game. The ball was
always in Joey's hands and Joey always sucked worse than
Erik Kramer, Charlie Batch, Andre Ware, Mike McMahon,
Dan Orlovsky, Jeff Garcia, Jon Kitna, Ty Detmer, Dave
Krieg, Gus Frerotte, Rodney Peete, and Josh McCown
combined. That's how bad Joey is. To be honest, I really
believed Joey Harrington was going to make the Lions an
awesome team, help us win the super bowl, be the next
Tom Brady, turn the franchise into a powerhouse, etc.
Did any of that happen? Nope. No sir. Instead of being
the next great one, Joey was terrible. Seriously. This
is how bad Joey Harrington is at football...
Joey
Harrington is so bad at quarterback that he made a cameo
at my son's pee-wee football practice and demonstrated
how to be a terrible quarterback...Then the all the
kids took turns tackling Joey...
Just
kidding, I don't have a son. I'm not kidding about how
much I hate Joey though. Actually, I am a little bit.
But I am curious about one thing, how the hell did NFL
scouts see potential in Joey?
I mean, he's sooooooo sh*tty.....
Like, for
example, Rex Grossman is an average quarterback, perhaps
average is being generous too. It's true, and everyone
realizes it, however, Rex is still significantly
better than Joey Harrington.
And another
example is like how Rex Grossman usually throws interceptions
and stuff from time to time, but everyone so often he'll
have a game where it's like, "Wow...Did Grossman really
throw four touchdowns today?" But not with Joey
though...Nope. With Joey, it's more like, "Wow...Did
Joey really throw four complete passes today? Good for
Joey!!" Yea you
Joey. I have a stronger arm than Joey, and my father
once told me I throw like a girl, which shows how
pathetic you are Joey.
Okay, I'm
done. Wait...maybe not...
I hope I
get an email from someone who routes for Oregon football
saying how Joey is great and how I need to shut up about
him and stuff...
Well, if I
get one of those emails all I gotta say is that the
reason you guys (Oregon football) didn't get a chance to
play in the BCS Championship game a few years back
against Miami, FL was because your quarterback sucked
so damn bad...Sure, the rest of your team may have been
awesome, but not Joey...No way...Not Joey...
Wednesday January 30
2008 4:50 P.M. Today I take my love for
dogs and crank it up a notch and Jerry Seinfeld's personal trainer would
say.
It's go time...
The idea of a
service dog, or therapy dog even, fascinates me for some
reason. Here is an interesting piece on types of
complementary therapies I read in my book for Exploring
Health Professions class today:
Alternative
and Complementary Therapies Pet Therapy - Uses pets such as dogs,
cats, and birds, to enhance and stimulate an interest in
life, helps individuals overcome physical limitations,
decrease depression, increase self-esteem, socialize,
and lower stress levels and blood pressure.
Back in the
day there were only complementary therapies, then it
was said that drugs were all that mattered, now today
they're saying it's both that matter. I'll go with what
they're sayin' today : )
And here is
something I just wrote which tells why each of my dogs
is great:
Shawnee
German Shepherd/Border Collie mix
Shawnee stimulates the life in me
and brings me out of the great depressions. Her high-energy drive for work and play
allows me to realize that life is worth living. If I am ever feeling down, I
think of Shawnee and the zest for life she is blessed with.
Tatum
Yellow Labrador/Shar Pei mix
Tatum is a
noble spirit that will protect me no matter what
happens. She is shy, but does not lack courage when
courage is needed. She is also the perfect dedicated and
friendly family pet. Tatum truly is "man's best friend."
Hector
Beagle (a chubby one at that)
In my Mother's
words, "Hector is a gentle creature." Though
it is also his curiously for new things and Buddha-like
qualities that stand out in him If Hector could
be reincarnated into a human being one day, that person
would likely bring forth world peace.
Saturday January 26
2008 10:03 P.M.
I discovered that I can do a fairly good Morgan Spurlock impression. You
know, the guy from the movie "Super Size Me..."
Friday January 25
2008 9:53 P.M.
Some harmless, strange, and kinda inappropriate "I'm so fat"
jokes...
Wow Zachary,
those psychiatric meds are sure making you gain
weight...
You ain't
kiddin' Little John...In fact, guess how fat I am right
now?
How fat are you?
[Here
comes the boom...]
I'm so fat that one time I
accidentally stepped on some gum then I couldn't peel the gum off the bottom of
my custom combat boot so I just
decided to eat my entire boot in hopes to consume some extra calories...
I'm so fat that one time I went to
a wallet factory tour and I raised my hand and said, "When are we gonna eat the
butter?" 'cause my mind was so occupied on being a butter-hungry
Antarctica-ass beached whale...
I'm so fat that a doctor did an
X-ray of me and all he found was fat everywhere on my body and he was like, "God
damn! You're fuckin' fat! Woah...big-time fat!!..."
I'm so fat that one day at lunch in high school five years ago I ordered
"everything" with "everything on it"
and all of the other students started chanting, "Get in shape! Get in shape!
Get
in shape!"
I'm so fat that I've got tattoos of
hoagies and grinders all over my back...
I'm so fat that I think everything
taste better when it's deep-fried in hotdog juice grizzle...then again...and
again...until it looks like a true hotdog...
I'm so fat that one time I couldn't
put on my own damn seat belt so I was forced to buy a newer, bigger car and now everyone calls me the young adult male who
buckles up in his custom-made vehicle for hippo-humans...
I'm so fat that I
cheat on my loving wife of fifty years by banging Mrs. Butterworth over and over again 'till
she moans like a wildebeest all so I can get closer to her secret legendary giant sugary
dump truck...
Thursday January 24
2008 11:50 A.M. "Wait, I think the English
Mastiff is gonna take a fat dump any moment now. This is something that must
be witnessed me Ma..." says a little stinky boy.
"No, come along
Skunk-a-doodle," replies the stinky boy's Mother.
"Excuse me, were you talking to
me?" says a man accidentally overhearing the conversation.
"No, my son is also named
Skunk-a-doodle..." the Mother tells the man.
Put that in
your beer bong and beer bong it ya big dumb beer-bongin'
son of a Peanuts character...
I don't even
know what I'm talking about...
However,
now I do : )
'CAUSE IT'S TIME FOR ANIMAL
WARS!!!
Rapid Disco Dancin' Moose Vs. Mega-Buck
Hydrophobic
Old Yeller Vs. Thee one and only chicken wing shoulder
blade named Funky Chicken on roller blades
Chuckleberry Ass Buffalo Vs. Taco Bell food supply
World Largest Ever
Recorded Living Insect Vs. two-thirds lb. beef
Drunken
hobo in an unstable manic state Vs. an sociopathic
eighteen
year old with several tattoos of Spongebob on his
privacy
Woah...now
that's crazy...
ANIMAL
WARS!!!
Wednesday January 23
2008 11:28 P.M. What ever happened
to "CRAZ-ZAY" everybody?!?
This is how to know if you have Borderline
Personality Disorder...
I
remember when I went to school I was so damn crazy that
I had to ride in that little-ass bus, take the class at
the end of the school, and the teachers even had to end
our class a half hour early just in case I went CRAZ-ZAY!!!
I know I
don't have borderline personality disorder because
although the disease is often confused with
schizophrenia, I know that I consistently dislike Tom
Cruise whereas if I were borderline, my opinion would
almost certainly shift between good and evil of this
scientologist...
And I
know I don't have BPD 'cause Chris Rock on the other
hand is always cool
because he can make fun of craziness, and crazy people
find it hilarious!!!
Oh yea, I
forgot to mention that I'm trying out for the Phillies
tomorrow...AGAIN!! Wish me Kruk - John Kruk (former
lumberjack-type Philly)
Uncle
Buck...more like...Uncle Kruk!! - John Kruk
Kruk you!!!
- John Kruk
Awe Kruks...
- John Kruk
Feelin'
Kruky? - Guess who?...John Kruk...
And I must
mention that John Kruk is also ALWAYS cool too!
This post
is undeniable proof that I don't have BPD (Borderline
Personality Disorder)!!!!!!
Sooo...do
you like John Kruk ALL the time or does your
opinion of him shift from time to time??
That is how
you know if you have BPD...
Monday January 14
2008 2:54 A.M. I know what you're
thinking...Rockadoodle was a great movie...
This however is not thee only big news of the
day...
Well done
Kristine Vesley!! I couldn't have done an article on
Zachary Odette any better, and I am Zachary
Odette!
Okay, I got
some mental health jokes for ya'll...
ZacharyOdette.com - a riddle wrapped in a stigma...???...Eh?
"Oh no, I'm
10 minutes late for work and I've still got to take 35
showers!!!!!" - An obsessive compulsive person
Is it okay
for me to crack obsessive-compulsive disorder jokes? I
mean, I don't have the disorder, but we are in similar
disorder spectrums, kinda...Oh well, if not I can always make
fun of people with the funniest mental illness of them
all...CLOWN PHOBIA!!
The
all-time greatest f*cking quote of all time:
"You're not
secretly going to leave the room and come back dressed
as a clown soon are you?" - a person with
clown phobia says this to every person they meet for the
first time
Wait, I got
another good one...
"I'm at
clown rehabilitation because clowns have ruined my
life." - a person with clown phobia<<==nice and
simple
Oh geez, I
could go on about clown phobia for an endless
amount of time...
You want to
know a great thing about clown phobia though? There are
clown phobia-help websites that have 24/7 hotline
numbers in case someone with clown phobia has a
clown-panic attack at 2:30 in the morning and really
needs to discuss it with anyone except for the clown
they just encountered! Ha!!
Wait a
clown-gone minute...Are there even 24/7 hotlines for
people with schizophrenia?!? Haha...there better be
dammit!!...I'm pissed...Stupid clown phobia wimps get
their own damn hotline, but we don't!...C'mon!!!!!!
"Welcome to
clown rehab. Today is day 1, by day 30 you will all be
shooting a real clown between the eyes with a shotgun."
I must
confess that I am a clown college drop out. My real name
is Uncle Bonkers...
I told you
all I could go on about clowns 4-ever!!!
Wait,
here's an even better one...
"Scientology is for clown college drop outs. Trust me.
I've seen it a million times." - Bozo the Clown,
currently a professor at Harvard Clown
Wow...I
said it...I don't even know much about scientology to
be honest other than you have to be against psychiatric
meds, smoking cigarettes is okay though, and being a
clown college drop out will score you major points
someway er other...
Go on send
me an email all of you scientologists. I'll just respond
to it claiming you are a clown college drop out.
Remember
when Gary Busey explained the, "have to," in the movie
Rookie of the Year? I learned most of what I know in
life from that scene...
"WOn't Let
ME baACK iNTO CLOWN CollEGE won'TS YA?!? I'll START ME
OWN ReliGiOn!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAH" - that Hubbard guy
Chewbacca
has a pet cross-eyed alligator named "Treer."
Thank you,
you've been great.
But before
I leave I must ask this, what's the deal with some
clowns being so happy, yet others...being so sad...
: )
: (
Friday January 11 2008
11:03 P.M.
I watched Dog Whisperer tonight, and this quote from Cesar stuck out in my
mind...
"A dog is like medication without
side effects." - Mr. Millan
That's another one for the quote
hall of fame from some guy who calls himself, "A Dog
Whisperer."
And did you
know, some place called Asheville, North Carolina is
rated the happiest place to live in America?
If the show I
saw which told me about this would have said that
statistics indicate that Swartz Creek, Michigan is the
most depressing place to live, I would have packed my
shit and headed to Asheville!! Somethin's up!!
[I show up to Asheville, North Carolina]
"Surprise!! I'm here everyone!! Glad to see me er
what?!?" - me [everyone in Asheville, North Carolina precedes to
become psychotic and depressed]
[mean
while, back in Swartz Creek, Michigan happiness
statistics begin to skyrocket at an exponential rate thanks
to the departure of Zachary Odette]
Yea right,
I enjoy living in Swartz Creek, Michigan very much. I
moved here a few years back and I like how the town is
so small and likely has a local barber shop ran by a
bald guy named Scott Brown who proudly gives everyone in
town a shitty haircut and has been doing so for
thirty-nine years
without taking one sick day.
"I've never
seen so many people with such bad haircuts." - a tourist
says to their friend while leaving Swartz Creek,
Michigan
"Yea, someone really needs to fire Scott Brown or at
least teach him to style hair...Who's ever heard of a
bald barber anyway?..." - the other tourist replies.
Thursday January 10 2008
9:24 P.M.
I don't have any empathy. Really, I don't. None,
because I don't know what
it's like to walk in another person's shoes, and on top of that, I don't
even know what it's like to walk in my own shoes 'cause I'm so damn craz-zay!
And I must
point out that I was never afraid of clowns as a kid
like some kids, but I was afraid of myself, and thus
terrified of the house of mirrors, so I was afraid of
going to the circus, and that is why I got along
so well with the kids who really were afraid of clowns.
We had something in common...those damn circuses...
The
Schizophrenia Digest Winter 2008 issue, the one
featuring me, hits the shelves on January 14 (er hits
somewhere 'cause you likely will have trouble finding
this magazine on a shelf in a bookstore). Go buy it
somehow.
Oh yea, and
I'm naked in the magazine...I must point out this
blatant lie...
Monday January 7 2008
8:04 P.M.
Are you crazy and in need of a service dog? Well, maybe you can get one like
you've always wanted!!...'Cause you're crazy!!
I remember watching this show that used to be on National Geographic not
that long ago called, "Dogs with Jobs," and in one episode this woman had a
Boxer whom guided her through grocery stores and down the street and stuff.
The Boxer was a breed of dog though, not like Rocky Balboa er anything like that...
If you believed that the woman I was just referring to had a real
boxer for a guide (like a tough-fighter with gloves on) then maybe you
are in need of a service dog 'cause you're so damn gullible...
Here are psychiatric service dog tasks:
Disorder
Symptoms
Trainable Tasks
Major Depression
Apathy
Tactile Stimulation
Hypersomnia
Wake-up handler
Feelings of isolation
Cuddle and Kiss
Sadness
Tearfulness
Hug
Lick Tears
Bring Tissues
Initiate Play
Insomnia
Suicidal ideation
Stay with and focus on handler
Psychomotor retardation
Walk on a leash
Memory loss
Remind to take medication
Help to find keys or telephone
