Complementary therapies I take in addition to my
medication:
GNC Triple
Strength Fish Oil
$19.99
Serving Size: 1 Softgel Servings Per Container: 60
Calories: 15 Total Fat: 1.5g
EPA: 647mg DHA: 253mg
GNC Mega Men Sport Multi-Vitamins
(Bonus Size)
$34.99
Other Cool Stuff:
Tablet/Pill Splitter
$5.99
GoFit Yoga Mat
$24.99
Homedics LCD Digital Scale $39.99
Attention:
This
website is probably more suitable for people whom are 18
years of age or older. I use vulgarity from time to time,
and I sometimes talk about things that are generally
inappropriate. Sorry you 1st graders. Beat it.
Thursday,
May 31 2007 8:43 PM -- More Air Bud Headlines! --
It's been a while since I've
made a post about Air Bud on this website, so I figured I'm
due. Here are some more Air Bud ESPN.com headlines you may
have forgot about...
Air Bud: Tests Positive for Kennel Cough, Steroids,
Amphetamines, and Marijuana -- Benched for Season by Coach
Doberman
Air Bud: Lands on the 15 day DL after Pick-Up Game Collision
Air Bud: Says He Has Bulked Up and is Ready for Season
Opener
Air Bud: Releasing Second Pooch Punt Training Video
Air Bud: Loses Starting Job to Some Basketball Player from
Flint, Michigan
Air Bud: Demands a Better Supporting Cast -- Admits He Hates
Middle School Basketball Players
Air Bud: Lights up Lebron in NBA Finals...Again
Air Bud: Discusses Off-the-Field Issues with Winn-Dixie
Air Bud: "I Will Not Retire -- Just Trade Me. Period."
Air Bud: Wins 2007 World Series of Poker by Knocking out
Phil Hellmuth in Heads-Up Duel
Air Bud: Attacks Innocent Kenyan in the Boston Marathon
Air Bud: Victim of Team Hazing, Gets Trapped in Own Locker
I could go on forever baby... - That bad guy from the Angels
With Filthy Souls video that Kevin McAllister always watches
in the Home Alone movies. Yes, I know, that's stupid.
Stupid, stupid.
Tuesday,
May 29 2007 6:42 PM -- Auntie Dobe R. Mann --
I was searching for dog-related
websites on the net then thought to myself, "I wonder if my
obedience class trainer Lois has a website...???" So then I
searched good ole Google and sure enough, I found a website
created by none other than Lois (a.k.a. Auntie Dobe R. Mann)
called
Dobertoons! Cool site. I still haven't had a chance to check out
the actual dober toons (I've been pretty lazy all day), but it seems like a real
entertaining site. She even got to
meet the Dog Whisperer! Her website is probably a lot
cooler to us dog lovers, but probably the coolest to you
Doberman Pinscher gurus.
I sent Lois an email (hopefully I didn't come off being to
creepy seeing how I searched her name on Google and all) and
she generously replied with the sweetest picture attached to
the email! Just look at the whale!
The whale is moving!!! How did she do that?!? Thank you very
much for this picture Lois!
It just goes to show that you may meet some nice, creative people out
there in the world if you decide to eventually leave your
basement...
Monday,
May 28 2007 5:38 PM -- my review of the 1994 "Lassie" film
--
I saw Lassie last night, the
1994 version that is. The one that has the kid from Sandlot
in it. Best movie ever. Haha. Well, not really. But the
characters are so funny and lame that it makes the movie a
classic. Kind of like any other children's movie. The lead bad guy, or I should say
"bad kid," is my favorite character. He's like 14 and he
can't stop smoking cigarettes and saying things like, "Ya
dead. Ya hear me? Ya dog is dead! And once he's dead that's
when I'm gonna rape him! Get me some more cigarettes
Johnny!" That obviously isn't an exact quote from the movie
but he might as well have said that, in my opinion. I guess I
don't have to say "in my opinion" in a blog. Oh well. Here
are some more quotes the bad kid either said or should have said in
the movie...
"Hey Timmy. Your dog is hot. And you know what I do to dogs
that I am attracted to? I rape them!"
then it begins...
"Hey Timmy, when I'm done raping your dog, you're next!"
"After I rape dogs, I like to break into my Dad's private
drawers and smoke his Cuban cigars!"
"You, with the dog! Yea you! Come here! Ya gettin' raped!"
"Performing statutory rape is way better than performing
regular rape! Ya hear me?!?"
"I ain't never raped a sheep-herdin' dog before. Come here
Lassie..."
"It's a good thing rapists don't have charm, or else what
I'm doing to everyone in this city might count as legal
sex."
"Sure, that dog can herd sheep alright, but my technique of
herding sheep by means of rape is far more efficient!"
"I got a trick for your dog. It's called 'shhhh...ya gettin'
raped...'"
"High-energy dogs need more rape than low-energy
dogs. It calms them down."
What?....
Sunday,
May 27 2007 7:35 PM -- Pics of the family --
I remember back in my day when
land mines were called "shoe bombs." Actually, what I meant to say is
here are some recent pics of the family!
Chubby Zack and Tatum. The fam and dog experts say she is
likely a yellow lab/pit bull mix. I have to hold her collar
in order to take pictures of her on account of her flash
phobia.
"Bring it on Mike Vick." - Tatum the dog
Our German Shepherd/Border Collie mixed breed ADHD dog whom
I call "Baby Shawnee." She weighs in at about 50-55 lbs. now
and still has a little growing to go.
A cool pic of my sister (Courtney), my niece (Savannah), and
my nephew (Amari). Savannah is the only one who is actually
playing surprisingly.
My mom went to Florida to visit Granny for a few days and when she
came home I decided to have a homemade pizza waiting for her
-- buffalo chicken w/ alfredo sauce, everyone's favorite.
Well, probably just mine. It
actually turned out to be scrumptious surprisingly.
Saturday,
May 26 2007 3:25 PM -- Man's best friends = people who own dogs
--
I can't remember if I've talked
about this on this website before, but I have developed the
theory that anyone who is a responsible dog owner is a nice
person. That's right. This is because I'm yet to meet anyone in an
obedience class or an employee at a pet store (I'll just assume
that anyone who works at a pet store probably owns a dog or
at least likes dog and has experience with them) whom is a
jerk. I thought going to obedience classes was going to suck
when I started them in January/February/whenever it was
because I thought all of the other dog owners in the classes
would take it more seriously than me, have smarter and more
obedient dogs than me, my illness would interfere somehow,
and that possibly my dogs would want to start fights with
all of the other dogs. It didn't turn out to be the case
though. Yes, my dogs were a little more aggressive than some
of the other dogs at times, but my dogs also seemed to be
the valedictorians of the classes. I gave them those awards
myself. I mean, for example, I took Tatum to beginner's dog
training class and the trainer moved her up to intermediate
class on the first day because she noticed I had worked with
her a little before and she pointed out how intelligent and
responsive Tatum was. So in a nut shell, Tatum showed up to
class then -- cachicka, cachicka -- she immediately got
moved into high math. Next week Tatum completes intermediate
training then moves onto advanced dog training.
I swear, if I ever become a postman, I am going to put on my
job application that I have been through advanced dog
training. I can just picture my future bosses sitting around
debating to hire me..."Gee, this Odette kid is a tough hire
in my opinion. I mean, he has a DUI on his résumé, but he
has also been to advanced dog training. How's about we give
him a bike to ride, stick him in the neighborhood with those
devil dogs, then wish him luck, and if he lives, well, we'll
give him a raise er something. Eh?"
Oh yea, I've gotten a DUI before. Now this I KNOW I've
talked about before on this website, however, I'm going to
do it again. Okay, it started when one night I decided to
get wasted then operate heavy machinery. Before I knew it, I
got pulled over for making a U-turn in the street in my
vehicle. Stupid, stupid. To be honest though, good things
actually resulted from my DUI though such as how I haven't
drank and drove since that night/morning, which was October
1, 2005. That, my friends, means I haven't drove a car while
intoxicated for over a year and a half. Booyah Zachariah.
And speaking of drinking, I haven't drank alcohol in exactly
12 days, which is practically a record for me, as sad as
that sounds. Moving on.
After the last day of my first session at dog class, I told
my trainer Lois how I am bipolar. Well, I didn't come out
and say "Bet you'd never guess that I'm bipolar, eh?" It was
was actually me thanking her for making class fun and easy
for me. She seemed stunned when I told her that, then she
told me how much she enjoyed having me in her class (as well
as my dog), yada, yada, yada, then out of nowhere she
started petting me and saying "Good bipolar boy, good
bipolar boy" in a calm voice. Well, I made up that part, but
you know how it went. I didn't mention to her how I am
schizotypal because no one knows what this is and I don't
usually feel like explaining it to people mostly because I'm
not good at it. Also, bipolar is the more severe illness of
the two (according to those diagnosis Axis things at least)
so it's easier just to say "Yea, I'm bipolar (without
mentioning schizotypal)." However, if anyone ever asks me,
"Just bipolar?...", in that circumstance, I will tell them
how I am schizotypal too.
The weird thing about being schizotypal for me is how I've
been like this my whole life I think. I don't know what this
talk about "personality disorders starting in young
adulthood" is. You can ask my old neighbors, and they will
tell ya somethin' wasn't right with me from the beginning.
Speaking of old neighbors, an old neighbor/pal of mine named
Ben has a cool website I went to recently at
www.benfrick.com. He is an actor, musician, and even a
better web designer than me! I haven't checked out his
acting or music yet, but the posters he has designed on his
computer are phenomenal. Congrats Ben-jammin'.
I'm hooked on dogs lately. When I'm not training my dogs or
having sex with them I am either massaging them or watching
a movie in which the main character is a dog. One day
recently, I walked upstairs and said, "It smells like
chocolate or something in here." Then Courtney, my sister,
said, "Wow. How did you smell that? I just now opened the
cap to this chocolate coffee creamer. Your sense of smell is
so good that you must be turning into a dog." Ha. Wait, mmm...coffee
sounds pretty good right about now. I'm a coffee drinker
lately now that I've been drinking less alcohol. In fact, my
sister (a recovered alcoholic) goes to AA meetings
occasionally and says every person at them goes through cup
after cup of coffee. I joked that if they are going to have
an unlimited coffee supply for people to drink at the
meetings then they might as well put the coffee inside of
kegs, just to be funny. Back to dogs though...
I think I've seen every dog movie there is now. And you want
to know what the best one is in my opinion? It's not
Beethoven, not Bingo, not Old Yeller, not Air Bud, not
Homeward Bound, not 101 Dalmatians, not Lassie, not Benji,
not Because of Winn-Dixie, not even that hilarious movie
Best in Show (which is a close second place by the way, and
thanks for buying me this movie Laurie!). The BEST DOG MOVIE
is "Far From Home: Adventures of Yellow Dog." I bought it at
Walmart for $6.99 and it was the best purchase I've ever
made other than my medications. I warn you, you may cry
during it though. Anyhow, go rent it, then watch it, then
buy it, then watch it again.
In conclusion, anyone who is responsible dog owner is a nice
person. Especially that girl who works at PetSmart who put
on her chapstick before I came up to the counter earlier
today. I've seen her there a few times before. She is very
nice, and her appearance is very nice. Cachicka, cachicka.
Friday,
May 25 2007 2:12 AM ~~ Name that National Basketball Association (NBA) player! First person
to get all of these right then
send me an email will be mailed a check for $5. Seriously. That's 5
McDonald's double cheeseburgers!!! ~~
Okay, this is an easy one...
Probably another easy one
Slightly tougher
They've officially gotten somewhat difficult
This guy is the real Charlie Hustle
Who the hell?
Don't mess with this guy -- he'll dunk in your face
This was not the guy in the Mighty Ducks movies
He sure as heck ain't Brendan Haywood
Is that Kobe?
If you know all of
these players then you've got talent my friend!
Thursday,
May 24 2007 5:47 PM ~~ How to lose weight, eat less ya big fat b*tch! ~~
~~ About taking omega-3 fish oils ~~
You want to know the #1 way to
lose weight my corpulent friends? Eat less. That's all. It's
not about eating healthy, exercising, taking weight loss
pills, or any of those "more popular weight loss trends."
It's just all about eating less. You read it here first,
from a fat guy too. Maybe I should put my theory to use in
an attempt to get under 200 lbs. Boy, sure would be nice to
be under 200 lbs. again. "I'm starting a diet tomorrow and
tonight I'm throwing away all my unhealthy food!" says
Zachary. Maybe I should just become bulimic. And I'm not
making fun of bulimic people or anyone with an eating
disorder, but their ideas for weight loss, though somewhat
hardcore, usually do seem efficient. Just kidding, I'm not
going to become bulimic, anorexic, or any of that stuff.
That would just mean I need to take another med to treat
that particular eating disorder and may thus gain weight
from that med which would counteract the whole idea of me
voluntarily choosing to partake in having an eating
disorder. Duh...
Anyway, I tried taking some omega-3 fish oils this morning.
I am yet to tell a difference in my mood, however, I plan to
continue taking them. Maybe just as important though, for
those of you who believe alternatives don't have side
effects of their own, in order to treat bipolar disorder
with fish oils I recently read online that you must take
approximately 8000mg-10000mg of EPA a day (or 8-10 grams of
EPA a day). What does this mean you might be asking
yourself? Well, the average fish oil capsule you buy in a
bottle at GNC, Sam's Club, Rite-Aid, etc. has about 200mg of
EPA in it (and I might be being generous with those
numbers). That means you'd have to take forty g-damn fish
oil capsules a day if you're bipolar and hope to have any
shot at using alternatives to cure yourself. That is
annoying, as well as costly. I'm so mad about that that I'm
going to create a new logo for this website. Oh wait, I
already did that last night at 3 in the morning. Ya know
what us fellow web designers and webmasters call people who
make kick-a** web designs and web pages? Rock stars...
Wednesday,
May 23 2007 7:32 PM ~~ What GAFF scores mean ~~
~~ Does Tom Cruise heckle players at ballgames? ~~
I went to my therapist yesterday
(I recently started therapy in hopes to pick up a chick or
three out in the real world) and she said my GAFF score has
improved from a 48 to approximately a 53 over the past year
and a half. I don't know what this means entirely, but she
said the higher the number is definitely a good thing. This
is how I interpreted from her what some of the numbers mean:
0-20: You are so mentally ill, crazy, and f*cked-up that any
hope for recovery is almost impossible.
20-30: You are in terrible mental shape and are about 2
seconds away from slitting your throat.
30-40: You are quite mentally ill and are forced to live in
a mental hospital because of it.
40-50: You have a severe mental illness but are doing well
enough to live in a home with a parent or guardian, and can
drive a car, go to appointments, make minor chitchat with
strangers when needed to, etc.
50-60: You are still mentally ill but have the capabilities
to function in society decently by doing things such as
attending school or maybe even getting a small part time
job.
60-90: I'm not sure. My therapist didn't specify.
90-100: You have little if any traces of mental illness in
you and you may have an 8 inch penis because of it. Wait,
forget that last part.
I'm gonna start referring to people whom make it loud and
clear that they don't believe in mental illness as
"hecklers." That's 'cause they're no different than those
people at ballgames who try to shatter the confidence of
talented individuals by harassing them...er somethin' like
that.
Sometimes I have dreams where people I know (usually family
members) do something or say something to me and I take
offense to it so then I go take it out on them in real life.
Hopefully this is just a textbook schizotypal symptom and
not a sign that I'm a heckler!
Monday,
May 21 2007 3:26 AM ~~ Tom Cruise's multivitamins ~~
~~ 7 Dwarves...the new class ~~
~~ Canadian hockey humor ~~
~~ The annoying kid from Arizona ~~
Tom Cruise should invent his own
multivitamin called "Major Dude Multivitamins."
Major Dude Multivitamins WAY BETTER THAN MEGA MEN'S MULTIVITAMINS!
100 capsules
...of pure major dude goodness
Testimonials:
"People used to ask me things like, 'Are you ever going to
be a major dude for a change?', and now thanks to Tom
Cruise's multivitamins, I am the major dude!" - John
T. Los Angeles, California
"I used to be a loser who always whined about trying his
best. But now after taking Tom Cruise's multivitamins, I go
home and f*ck the prom queen!" - J. Lee Oakland, California
Ingredients: Vitamins, minerals, fish oils, natural
sunlight, exercise, scientology, a dash of love, and a pinch
of Tom (ewwwww)
Sorry Tom, I,
Zachary Odette, don't want your weirdo vitamins. After all,
I already take a few each day starting with my morning one
called the "antipsychotic."
The Foose family (a family more normal than my own) has
inspired me to write about dwarfism in an humorous attempt
to help destroy the myths and misconceptions that come with
mental illness and dwarfism! Okay, rumor has it the 7
Dwarves have been replaced!
Doc -- Vet
Grumpy -- Sexy
Happy -- The artist formerly known as Happy
Sleepy -- Snazzy
Bashful -- Shameful
Sneezy -- Contagious
Dopey -- Mickey Rooney
"It's aboot time we replaced them dwarves," as a Canadian
would say, according to South Park the movie. Never spoke to
a Canadian myself, but boy I wouldn't want to play one of
them in a game of hockey. No way, no how. If there's one
thing people in Canada know how to do, it's play hockey. And
ya know what? I got nothin' against Canada because they
probably secretly invented pizza or something and I've heard
the name "Odette" is French/Canadian, but I think it would
be funny if everyone in Canada sat around talking about
hockey all the time like those Chicago Bears fans do on
Saturday Night Live. An Example:
Canadian 1: Okay, who do you think would win a game
of hockey?...a pissed off Detroit Redwings/Colorado
Avalanche alliance, or a 50-year-old one-legged Wayne
Gretzky using a slice of pizza as a stick? Eh? Canadian 2: Obviously Gretzky. Canadian 1: Okay, how's aboot this one...Who would
win a fight?...a tornado named "Team Russia" or some
Canadian pizza delivery boy who has a dream of playing
hockey one day for the Calgary Flames even though he sucks
at everything? Canadian 2: I'll go with the shitty pizza guy, but
only because hockey is involved. Am I right, eh? Canadian 1: You're damn right you're right, eh? Canadian 2: Eh? Canadian 1: Eh? Canadian 2: Eh? Canadian 1: Eh?
(etc.)
Blah. I need something else to write about because I don't
feel like going to sleep yet. Maybe I should make fun of the
US because everyone here is fat, loud, and obnoxious.
Canadian 1: And don't forget, ya suck at hockey
too...
Geez. These Canadian just won't leave ya alone when it comes
to hockey, will they? Or should I say, "eh?"
Canadian Mother: Awe, our infant daughter just got
cross-checked by our infant son. You know what that means,
eh? Canadian Father: Yep. Tell the neighbors to get their
hand-me-down hockey equipment cause are boy is the next
Gretzky.
I bet in Canada instead of mosh-pits they call 'em
"cross-checks." Ha. Don't worry though Canada, the best
hockey player to come out of the US is some stupid golfer
named Happy Gilmour (Not to be confused with your precious
"Doug Gilmour").
I just read that it was a Canadian whom invented the snow
mobile. That sounds about right. I bet some clever
Canadian's car got stuck in the driveway before work so he
had to invent a snow mobile at the last minute.
"Sweet new ride...what do you call that thing?"
"Oh, get this! I've got the most original name ever for it!
I call it ~~ the snow mobile ~~."
"Oh wow that's a sweet name. Eh, I got an idea...let's ditch
the last hour of work then go play hockey!"
"That's a hat trick of an idea."
I just realized something. Any time someone ever asked me if
I wanted to play hockey while I was growing up, the person
must have been Canadian. Thanks a lot Canada. That actually
kind of makes me think of the pick-up cut throat basketball
game I played in last year with my brother and "the kid from
Arizona." This is seriously how the entire game went...
The chatterbox from Arizona: Say, do you guys want to
play cut-throat? Oh yea, I'm new here and I'm from Arizona. My brother: Alright. The chatterbox from Arizona: Okay cool. Do you guys
play up to 21 here? I'm just checkin' to see if you guys
have different rules from back in Arizona. My brother: Yea. The chatterbox from Arizona: Did I mention I'm not
from around here? I'm from Arizona...
That kid must have mentioned how he was from Arizona at
least 20 times. F*ck you Arizona for producing that kid and
sending him here to Michigan. And f*ck you Steve Nash for
leaving the fine country of Canada to play basketball in the
same state as the kid from Arizona.
Okay, pretend every time that the kid from Arizona shot the
ball, he drained it then said, "Zona!"
"Seriously kid, you gotta stop saying that. No one cares
that you're from Arizona..." says someone who's fed up by
the kid from Arizona's vocals.
"What's the matta? Can't handle...Zona?!?" replies the
chatterbox from Arizona
F*ck everywhere. F*ck Hollywood, f*ck Canada, f*ck the US
(especially "Zona!", but Florida is cool), and f*ck you I'm
out.
Sunday,
May 20 2007 2:11 AM ~~ Yes, another post about dogs ~~
If dogs can suffer from
depression (which I've read in several sources they can) as
well as anxiety (whether it be separation anxiety from its
owner or whatever anxiety), then can they resort to
alternatives to Prozac too? Read on my pack leaders...
Here is a letter someone submitted to "Bark" magazine in
the April 2007 issue:
Herbal Treatments
The idea of using herbs for treating dogs is long overdue
(Feb 07). I have a four-year-old Corgi that at the age of
six months who started exhibiting symptoms of depression.
Molly stayed in a bathroom any time she wasn't forced to
come out for a walk or even to eat. She would just lie there
and look up at you. Never having owned a Corgi before, I
wasn't sure if this was normal behavior. I consulted my
then-vet who said a lot of people would be glad to have a
pet that was no bother and since all dogs have different
personalities, I should accept this is how my Corgi was. I
could not accept this. I did not get a dog to not keep the
bathroom and not me company! So I contacted the Mayflower
Corgi Club and was overwhelmed with answers that negated my
vet's opinion. The club members offered suggestions for
behavior modification, change in diet and tests that might
lead to a biological explanation. I tried them all and went
back to the vet and demanded all the suggested tests--all
negative. I have a friend who suffers from depression and I
began to notice similarities between her and my Corgi's
behavior.
I did research (isn't the internet
wonderful!) and decided I did not want the dog on Prozac or
any other drug. I could not find anything about giving
animals herbs for depression so I turned to the human
nutritionist, Dr. Andrew Weil. In one of his articles
concerning depression, he suggested St. John's Wort but said
that it would take about 2 months to notice any effect. He
also recommend cold water fish to increase omega 3 and 6. I
began giving Molly the adult dosage and feeding her mackerel
with her kibble. Almost two months to the day, Molly started
coming out of the bathroom of her own accord and exhibiting
behavior of a happy Corgi! Molly has earned her Good
Companionship Award and visits a nursing home biweekly.
- Rae Waller
Plainfield, Conn.
(Now I'm just going
to attempt to be funny regarding this "Bark" letter. Well,
'cause that's what I do. I should point out that I don't
even know if I'm trying to prove any points with these
comments though. I guess they are just attempts at humoring
you lunatics, nuts, and mental defectives.)
"The idea of using herbs for treating dogs is long
overdue."--ain't dat the truth
"Molly stayed in a bathroom any time she wasn't forced to
come out for a walk or even to eat."--Textbook
depression at it's finest, well, in canines I guess
"The club members offered suggestions for
behavior modification,"--Sounds like a kick-a** club to
me.
"I have a friend who suffers from depression and I began to
notice similarities between her and my Corgi's behavior."--Such
as being stuck in a bathroom in addition to possibly peeing
on the carpet when the pack leader is gone? Wait, people
don't have pack leaders other than maybe that Hubbard guy.
"I did research (isn't the internet wonderful!) and decided
I did not want the dog on Prozac or any other drug."--Yes,
the internet is wonderful, thanks to ZacharyOdette.com and
other helpful & educational mental illness websites. But why
not Prozac for thy young pooch? After all, Prozac is the
only antidepressant given to young kids.
"I could not find anything about giving animals herbs for
depression so I turned to the human nutritionist, Dr. Andrew
Weil. In one of his articles concerning depression, he
suggested St. John's Wort but said that it would take about
2 months to notice any effect. He also recommend cold water
fish to increase omega 3 and 6."--Good ole Dr. Andrew
Weil, that "doctor" always has a trick up his sleeve, don't
he? The question now is, can he cure my obsessive-compulsive-pig?
"I began giving Molly the adult dosage and feeding her
mackerel with her kibble."--Why are we not applying this
'mackerel with kibble' techniques to humans yet?!? Wait, I
heard Tom Cruise really shifts into Cruise control when he
eats is infamous 'mackerel and kibble.'
"Almost two months to the day, Molly started coming out
of the bathroom of her own accord and exhibiting behavior of
a happy Corgi!"--I knew it. I f*ckin' knew it...It's 2
months to the day! I put 1 month along with February in a
non-leap year on my scientology test! F*ckin' A!
"Molly has earned her Good Companionship Award and visits
a nursing home biweekly."--Hey! Just like me! However,
has she been to attack school yet?...like me.
"- Rae Waller
Plainfield, Conn."
--Nice anonymous name, that is, unless you really were the
guy from that Matchstick Men movie. Wait a sec...did you con
"Bark" magazine you son of a bitch?!? How's about I rapid
cycle then boot your stupid Corgi back to the bathroom?!?
Okay, I think I'm done for tonight. Now I must go figure
out a way to get my dogs out of my bathroom by use of turkey
jerky, a box, a stick, a string, and oh yea, thee 'mackerel
and kibble' wicked combo...
Did I mention my dogs are all Corgi's too (let's pretend)
and they are having an orgy in my bathroom (which is why
they won't leave), making it a Corgi orgy in there. There
better not be cum stains and vaginal discharge all over the
place when I walk in there. If so, I'm neutering and spaying
all of them (actually, all of my dogs are already neutered
or spayed)!
Saturday,
May 19 2007 9:32 PM ~~ For my next challenge, I'm going
to... ~~
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls, dogs and cats, I am now going to attempt to perform
the greatest stunt in the history of scientology. I am going
to live in a pine tree for 1 year without medication! Don't
believe me? Well, just wait till May 19, 2008 when you see a
star above the pine tree I was in. That particular star will
indicate that I have reached the top and also, that is took
me exactly one year to climb the pine tree, er something.
And remember, this is not a David Blaine stunt, this is not
a Jackass stunt, nor is this even a Henry David Thoreau
stunt, for this is -- "The ZacharyOdette.com stunt of the
year." And you know what I'll be singing to people after
this crazay-craze-stunt is over?!?
"I'm checkin' in, yea, I'm checkin' in..." - me
"Yea, he's checkin' in, he's checkin' in, la la la..." - the
mental hospital workers
I've decided what I am going to name my 2 daughters: Penny
and Nina. "Penny Lane from that song?" "Nina from Breath of
Fire for Super Nintendo?" Sadly, yes...
Friday May 18,
2007 4:16 PM ~~ Pick-up basketball players ~~
~~ The return of everyone's best friend -- Scott Brown! ~~
Though this post isn't related to mental illness, it's worth reading so you can
chortle once or twice, hopefully. Some guy on ESPN.com named
Patrick Hruby wrote
a hilarious page on "The Ultimate Pick-Up Basketball
Game from Hell" which consists of the eight usual irritating
players you'd play against in a pick-up basketball game.
Here they are...haha...
The Dirty Old Man (self-explanatory)
The Sweat Hog (the guy who keeps sweating)
The Allen Iverson Wannabe (the guy who never stops shooting)
The Guy Who's Too Good (the Michael Jordan of pick-up
basketball games)
The Marathon Man (the guy who won't stop hustling)
The Coach on the Floor (the annoying guy who coaches his own
teammates)
The Guy Who Doesn't Know His Own Strength (the nice giant
who keeps accidentally injuring people)
The Playground Rasheed Wallace (the guy who whines a lot,
calls a lot of fouls, and takes the game too seriously)
Moving on...
Because of his fan following of local college students,
Scott Brown is back! I guess some of you couldn't get enough
of Scott Brown. In case you don't remember, here is the
original clip of this imaginary character known as "Scott
Brown."
"Hello clowns, remember
me? Scott Brown. When Scott Brown enters a room Scott Brown
says a countdown: Scott Brown in 3-2-1 -- Scott Brown! After
the countdown Scott Brown listens to Warren G then gets
down. Scott Brown then says Scott Brown everyone shout out
loud for Scott Brown! When Scott Brown hears the crowd roar
loud, Scott Brown does his favorite dance -- the porpoise in
which he pretends to drown. Some people then ask, why do you
drown Scott Brown. It's cause Scott Brown once peed in a
public swimming pool and made the water brown. That's why
Scott Brown isn't proud of Scott Brown. Scott Brown even has
a pet hamster named Scott Brown who smokes marijuana with
Scott Brown. Scott Brown named his hamster, Scott Brown!
First name Scott, last name Brown...middle name Cleveland.
Scott Brown must go now because Alvin and Chipmunks is on
and when Scott Brown watches this particular children's
program Scott Brown gets high as a cloud then laughs out
loud. Goodbye now from your old acquaintance Scott Brown."
Thursday May 17,
2007 8:48 PM
~~ My idea for a new med ~~
~~ A TV show where fat mentally ill people lose weight ~~
~~ Schools for the mentally ill, Daisy Duck, blah ~~
I just thought of a good idea
for a psychiatric drug which, to my knowledge, doesn't exist
yet. Okay, if a lot of people complain about how
antipsychotics and some other meds can make you fat and thus
potentially give you diabetes (Actually, there's a decent
reason to complain about that, AND it mostly seems like it's
the people who don't even take these meds whom are
complaining though anyway. The people who actually take
these meds and get serious help from them as well as pretty
damn fat too unfortunately, don't complain as much it seems
like to me -- like chubby Zachary Odette!), then why doesn't
some drug company out there create a medication to take with
certain fat-causing meds to compliment them and make them so
you don't gain weight? My guess would be a few meds like
this are already in the creation process, or maybe even
already in test trials, but it is taking a rather long time
in my non-expert opinion. There's probably a med already out
there that performs this weight loss miracle and I don't
even know about it. Yea right. Maybe just all of us mentally
ill chubs should have our own Biggest Loser weight loss show
called, "The Biggest Loser, Whom is F*cking Nuts By the
Way." I like the sound of that. It's kind of funny :). Have
any of you seen that reality show called "The Biggest Loser"
yet? If you haven't, I'll tells ya about it. It's a reality
show, which we all know are either great or stupid, in which
extremely fat people spend 12 weeks competing against each
other to see who can lose the most weight during that span.
It's amazing to witness how much weight each person loses
between the week 1 and week 12. I remember in one season of
that show, a blonde blob turned into Nikki Hilton
practically by the time the season ended. And in that same
season, this one trucker blimp guy who had long, greasy hair
turned into Brad Pitt from Fight Club by the end and ended
up taking home $250,000 or some similar ridiculous amount of
cash. That is why I think people who are mentally ill and
fat should have their own TV show like The Biggest Loser.
Can you imagine the ratings? They would just be absurd!
"According to our most recent findings, 99.9% of the
mentally ill community have sent us fan mail regarding 'The
Biggest Loser, Whom is F*cking Nuts By the Way.'" - NBC
ratings analyst
I would also like to see schools specifically for the
mentally ill. That I am actually being serious about. I know
a lot of you agree with me and a lot of you don't, but I
just think it would be a hell of an idea. It would have to
be called, "The School for the Cool" er something. Bleh.
Blah. Meeska Muska. Speaking of Meeska Muska, Daisy Duck is
Hott! I like her moves...and her bill. Haha. Ma just got
home (with din-din hopefully), gotta go.
Wait, before I go, sometimes I search my own name ("Zachary
Odette"...of course) in search engines and stuff ('cause I'm
a loser...of course) and I find that people talk about me on
messageboards and on myspace and things like that. That's
awesome! I mean, it's people trying to make fun of me
sometimes, but who the hell cares!? I'm a celebrity!
Yee-haw, look what the kid done did. What did the kid done
did? He created himself one of them websites. Bleh. Blah.
I'm losin' it. I love you Daisy Duck!
This post is weird and stupid...
Thursday May 17,
2007 2:52 PM
~~ A new med that works on "GABA" ~~
~~ My nephews ~~
~~ Google ads are actually useful and educational ~~
There is a new antipsychotic in
phase I trials or phase II trials (can't remember which one)
that works on the neurotransmitter GABA. That's really cool.
Personally, I don't know what the hell "GABA" is, but I know
this is the first antipsychotic to work on this particular
neurotransmitter. And as for other 6 atypical antipsychotics
available here in the US, though I could definitely be
wrong, I am under the assumption they all work on dopamine
(and not this GABA thing). And next, (even though I should
probably know more about these subjects before I talk about
them), I think I read somewhere else that GABA is
related to your eyes, er something like that. I don't know
what that means or if this is true, but it sounds
interesting. I know I personally can think a lot more
clearly if I'm talking to someone and I look at their mouth
as opposed to their eyes. I'd imagine looking people eye to
eye while talking to them is more normal, which is partially
why I'm mentally ill. And I know people who have autism
struggle with eye contact. For example, my nephew Dakota,
who has aspberger's syndrome (which is like
"high-functioning autism" kind of) struggles with eye
contact sometimes. Like when he apologizes to people he
either can't look them in the eye, or while looking them in
the eye his voice tends to change a lot, like the volume
will increase and the sincerity doesn't seem to be there
even though he really means it. It's a strong contrast when
Dakota is compared to my other nephew Amari (who doesn't
seem to have any traces of mental illness in his mind, which
may be a first in my family!). What I just said about
Dakota's apologies probably makes the non-believers in
mental illness believe in it even less. They probably think
(and sometimes make it loud and clearer to me through the
occasional hate mail) that "your nephew obviously doesn't
mean he's sorry if he can't look people in the eye" or "your
nephew must be weak" potentially followed by "and your weak
too Zack." Even though no one has said any of those
particular comments too me (yet...?) I want to tell those
non-believers to, "simmer down now ya feverish kettles."
Blah. This whole update probably is misleading,
uneducational, and strange. Maybe I'll write another update
later today. In the mean time, and I do mean this, there are
a ton of good links on this website to mental
illness-related information, education, and support (hehe...sz
homepage phrase) on the top of this page and on both the
left and right menus. Yes, they are in fact Google ads and
yes I will in fact make a few cents if you click on them,
but I tried clicking on one of the ads the other day and it
took me to some website that sells "Mega EPA and DHA fish
oil", which is supposedly a good thing to take if you have
ANY mental illness whatsoever. There are also ad links to
websites that talk about upcoming antipsychotics,
antidepressants, and more psychiatric meds which are in test
trials at the moment, like how I talked about that trial
GABA med up above. Anyway, I probably sound like a yuppie
right now, so adios my curious George's.
Thursday May 17,
2007 12:22 AM
~~ What's the difference between a med an an alternative? ~~
~~ Humorous names for certain dog breeds ~~
~~ Ricky Rouse says goodbye ~~
What is the difference between a
psychiatric drug and an alternative to a psychiatric drug?
I'm not trying to tell you "there is no difference ya
morons!", I'm seriously asking this question because I'm
stupid and I don't know. I guess I'll just assume that
alternatives are plants or something found in the
rainforest, or your backyard, which often eventually make it
to GNC and sometimes even Sam's Club. Ha. I wish I knew more
about this subject. But anyway, if alternatives are natural
or whatever, then where are we finding the materials to
concoct psychiatric drugs? I mean, we have to be finding the
materials on earth thus making them natural too, right?
Maybe I sound like a yo-yo right now (I looked this yo-yo
term up just now and it's a synonym for idiot, in addition
to being a toy that can "walk the dog" of course). I'm
confused. Moving on though I guess...
Cool names for certain breeds of dogs!
German Shepherd ~ T-rex ~ (for obvious reasons)
Greyhound ~ Blur ~ (the fastest of all dogs)
Yellow Lab ~ Mellow Yellow ~ (for their color and
personality)
Chocolate Lab ~ Cappuccino ~ (a fun name to say)
Black Lab ~ Night Rider ~ (like that car in that TV show)
Rottweiler ~ Astrotrain ~ (like the giant Transformers
train)
Beagle ~ Soundwave ~ (Beagle are howlers)
Golden Retriever ~ Butterscotch ~ (it's more appropriate
than Buttershots)
Border Collie ~ 20/20 ~ (for their piercing stare)
Collie ~ Sweet Roll ~ (for their coloring and it's just a
cute-ass name)
Doberman Pinscher ~ Strong Safety ~ (Haha...like in
football)
Husky or Malamute ~ Channing (this name means young wolf)~
Boxer ~ Apollo ~ (Apollo Creed from the Rocky movies)
Bulldog ~ Slack-jaw ~ (for that tremendous under bite they
have)
Dachshund ~ Slinky ~ (cause they look like Slinky's!)
Great Dane ~ Colossus ~ (Jumbo dogs these are)
Saint Bernard ~ Gentle Ben ~ (like the Bear)
Schnauzer ~ Sniffer ~ (cause they got big sniffers)
Poodle ~ Princess Bride ~ (from the movie Princess Bride of
course)
Pug ~ Puckered ~ (cause their scrunched faces)
And there are so many other breeds...
That's all for tonight boys and girls. Meeska Muska Rickey
Rouse? Or Monald Muck? (Don't you remember that Shari
Bobbins episode of the Simpsons?)
Wednesday May 16,
2007 6:21 AM
~~ My own mental illness song with guitars ~~
If you thought that audio file I
made yesterday of Tom Cruise rapping was cool (or perhaps
bizarre), I think I might have just outdone myself. Here is
a music clip I made which is compiled of a song I wrote and
recorded in my basement a few months ago on geetar (guitar)
along with audio clips of me talking to myself in strange
voices. I added a small amount of voice effects to the song
too, but not to the Scott Brown voice. That voice my friends
is untouched. This whole song is original EXCEPT for the
Chewbacca calls, those are Star Wars mp3s I found online.
Anyway, Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...
Tuesday May 15,
2007 10:38 PM
~~ Check out the updated 'my meds' page! ~~
I have finally updated the 'my
meds' page on this website! Not only have I added my
experience with a few meds that weren't previously listed
(like Lamictal and Paxil), but I think I've done a much
better job at telling about my experience with meds I've
written about in the past. Here
ya go my friends! And by the way, if you like the 'my
meds' part of this site because you may be interested in
reading about how certain meds may work with your disorder
as well as your body, you might want to check out the
website
www.crazymeds.org. If you like my website, you'll like
theirs more, trust me. It's more educational, less silly,
and written by smarter people.
I hope my Pistons and Redwings aren't falling apart. Blah.
Go Tigers?
Tuesday May 15,
2007 9:18 PM
~~ An apology to my emailers ~~
~~ Dashing through the snow with Laurie Buenafe ~~
Sorry I haven't responded to
your past couple emails Laurie. I haven't responded to any
emails lately actually. Hopefully this post will make it up
to you. And hopefully you still visit this website to read
it.
So, you might be asking yourself, "Who is Laurie? Who is
this woman?" Well my friends, she is the goddess "Laurie
Buenafe" ...pronounced "Lor-ee Bwen-uh-fay"
Dashing through the snow
With Laurie Buenafe
Over the fields she goes
That's Laurie Buenafe
She likes to dance and sing
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A Laurie song tonight
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
Says Laurie Buenafe
Oh what fun it is to talk
to Laurie Buenafe
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Sings Laurie Buenafe
Oh what fun it is to see
Laurie in a suit
She likes ukuleles
Pigeons and spirits too
Zack has his own website
As does Laurie too
Now she has a husband
'Cause last year she got married
I call her Mother Nature
Just like Storm or Halle Berry
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
Says Laurie Buenafe
Oh what fun it is to talk
to Laurie Buenafe
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Sings Laurie Buenafe
Oh what fun it is to see
Laurie in a suit Merry Christmas Laurie from your ole pal
Zachary and the month of May!
Tuesday May 15,
2007 1:25 AM
~~ My impression of actor/scientologist Tom Cruise rapping! ~~
3 updates in less
than a 24 hour span?!? Put that in your pipe and
smoke it Grandma! Ha! Anyway, here-we-go...
Imagine if actor Tom Cruise decided to retire
from acting and as a career change become a rap
artist who sings about scientology, psychology,
psychiatry, how he poops his pants, and more.
Imagine my friends...
(So give it up for Tom
Cruise and his rap group -- One Shining Tom...)
Neurons send sh*t
Ya big fat b*tch (what?)
Maaaannnnn
How you just gonna be like maaaannnnn? (Uh
huh...)
Psychology today
Was yesterday
I can't see dopamine
Know what I mean? (It's true...)
Now I gotsta go
Cuz I just sh*t my pants! (Aww maaaannnnn...)
I can't tell if what I
just created is funny, educational, and genius
or just silly, stupid, and maybe even crazy. Oh
well.
Tuesday May 15,
2007 12:19 AM
~~ Garfield the cat's unlucky twin..."Barf-eel" ~~
~~ A humorous goodbye from Mr. Whale ~~
Let me give you the low down on Barf-eel...
1. He's very unlucky in all aspects of life.
2. He has several DUI arrests pending which were
crimes he was framed for by another similar
looking cat. Talk about bein' framed, eh
Barf-eel?
3. He fell for the classic trap of selling his
last plate of lasagna during the great
depression for a mint condition Hendrix air
guitar.
4. He loves to open the doors in the car when
Jon Arbuckle is driving then crack his favorite
joke -- "Hey Jon Arbuckle, let's pull over and
get some more Creatine w/ Cat Nip, or perhaps
should I call you...Jon Door-Ajar-Buckle? Thank
you and good night everyone." No one ever
laughs...
5. If his life gets any worse, he is
contemplating an attempt at obtaining enough
money to change his name to Stokes Dixon and
becoming the first feline porn star, even though
everyone knows the best porn star name of all
time is obviously "Barf-eel"
6. Barf-eel suffers from severe bipolar disorder
which he likes to call -- Opposite magnetism at
its worse times abouts 2 billion when you can't
count no more sheep. -- No one ever understands
him when he gets going on his disorder...(This
might be the dumbest thing I've ever written on
this website)
7. He masturbates in the house of mirrors when
he's feeling majorly depressed as a way to
hopefully cheer himself up and build confidence
as well as get off.
8. His litter box f*cking reeks constantly from
all the cat sh*t.
9. He sleeps in his litter box cause he just
doesn't care...
10. He's considering sealing himself in a box
and mailing himself to a far off country where
cats are hailed as Gods even if they are
unlucky, prone to being framed for arrests,
gullible, unfunny, perverted, mentally ill,
gross, smelly, and careless.
As you can tell, Barf-eel has a lot of problems
Oh yea, also, Barf-eel was the brains behind the
operation of rap artist Sisqo's "Enter the
Dragon" music video. Thanks a lot on that one
Barf-eel.
WAIT!
This is the real new mascot for
ZacharyOdette.com!...
I wish I had this whale as a pet.
All the ladies would be like, "Awww what a cute
whale? And he's so chubby and comical. Let's do
it, nowwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tuesday May 15,
2007 12:19 AM
~~ What I will look like by next year according to experts ~~
~~ Former Utah basketball coach Rick Majerus orders a "Van Horn burger" er
something... ~~
This is what I will look like
by May 14, 2008 according to experts. Ewwwwww....
(pretend Rick Majerus enters a McDonald's
restaurant...)
"Rick, you can order anything at McDonald's as
long as it's on the menu, we order it for here,
and you don't speak in the third person. Cool?"
And what did Rick precede to say?...
"Okay, umm, Rick Majerus will have a Van Horn
chicken burger to go followed by a cold Bud."
Saturday May 12, 2007
4:57 PM
~~ I am a horny choad ~~
~~ I dislike imaginary hate mail ~~
Right in the
kisser...
Zachary Odette presents -- "The Horny Choad"
Choad = Tasteless term for penis, popularized by
the cartoon series Beavis and Butthead.
I always thought a "choad" was a penis that was
wider than it was long. Guess I was wrong. Never
the less, I'm fatter than I am tall these days
(sarcasm), and someone once told me I have frog
eyes er something; therefore, I am the horny
choad...and maybe the horny toad as well.
By the way, "no pants"...the new style
Go on, take 'em off...
I'm gonna pretend right now...someone is going
to send me an email that says "Holy mole, got
enough DVDs in your room?"
I've really got to stop pretending I'm getting
fake emails and instead start making real
friends...
Wednesday May 9,
2007 1:00 AM
~~ "I, Zachary Odette, am so fat..." jokes ~~
We've all seen fat people get made fun of and
we've all felt bad for the fat person. Some of
us may have also even seen a fat person making
fun of a fatter person for being fat. Me though?
I'm gonna make fun of myself for being fat.
That's right, I'm a 210 pound ultra turbo chubby
these days. Don't be deceived by the old photos
of me on this webpage, most of them are fairly
old and my body weight has changed since they
were taken. And don't get me wrong, I hate being
fat, I mean, I'll die younger and get laid for
the first time at an even older age. But ya know
what, f*ck you slim...yea, and let's be silly
since some of these psychiatric meds can make
people chunky...
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that if I were
to remove one article of clothing, such as a
sock, so much fat would emerge from the removed
sock that everyone in this galaxy would start
choking on my fat until everyone suffocated,
ending all life as we know it."
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that when any
person sees me at any time of day, their
somewhat petrified yet automatic response to my
bulky appearance is to go up to my face and say
'Wow, where'd you get all that fat ya f*ckin'
fat fatso? Holy sh*t, you're fat, and you
probably eat fat when I'm not paying
attention...'"
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that when I eat
any portion of any type of food, people who
witness this occasion wish for just one moment
that they were sent to Hell as soon as possible
to relieve the pain of watching me inhale my
portions."
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that my own fat
makes me even more ashamed of the size of my
miniscule penis on account of the heavy
smithereens of excess fat surrounding the mere
amounts of my genitals."
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that dictionary
inventors far and wide are contemplating
replacing the word 'fat' with 'Zachary
Odette-like' in every single dictionary in use,
for the term 'fat' has lost all meaning as so
many children have now been labeled 'Zachary
Odette-like' instead of merely 'fat' as a way to
ridicule both the 'fat' victim as well as
Zachary Odette -- who was also named fattest
person in existence for the new millennium."
"I, Zachary Odette, am so fat that I've been
mistaken for an ugly pregnant woman who freights
a penis rather than myself over one trillion
times at every family reunion ever attended
which consists of one every Tuesday."
I could go on forever, but I must now stop so I
can go eat something. Just kidding. Mmmm...macaroni
w/ extra cheese does sound pretty good though...
Tuesday May 8, 2007
11:25 PM
~~ Karen Blair (www.schizophreniaandart.com)
and her cool med idea ~~
~~ My alternatives to psychiatric meds consisting of coffee, certs, and
well, something else... ~~
Karen Blair ~~
artiest/hot woman/creator of
www.schizophreniaandart.com ~~ has a section
on her webpage (by the way, I'm still not sure
what the difference between a webpage and a
website is, oh well, I don't care...wait, yea I
guess I do. I'll find out one day dammit...moving
on though) where she categorizes her artwork
into sections by which antipsychotic she was
taking at the time when she created each piece.
That's a great idea Karen. Perhaps I will end
each of my own web posts with which meds I'm
currently taking from now on. It's a little
unoriginal on my part but hopefully, there will
be a contrast in my writing as I change
medications and also, hopefully my writing will
become saner and more entertaining as
psychiatric meds become more potent, have less
side effects, generally better, and yada yada
yada (as they say on Seinfeld). By the way, I
hope I didn't offend your husband Karen by
saying you are a hot woman. Blah. He could
probably kick my ass anyway. Zachary signing
off...
Currently taking:
Abilify -- 30mg in the morning
Lamictal -- 300mg at night
Paxil -- 20mg at night
(And just for grins...) I wish I was
taking:
Coffee -- 3 mugs full
Vaginal discharge -- from any woman with a
mental illness
Certs -- 1 tablet
In that order! Just kidding. I'm just trying to
be funny again. Or am I?...
