HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Sunday October, 29 2006 10:07 PM

I've came to a few conclusions these past 5 minutes.  These conclusions are as follows:

1.) I'm mentally ill.

2.) My penis size is sub par.

3.) Penis pumps don't work.

4.) I make the most money through this website on days when I'm in the newspaper.

5.) I'm mentally ill, stuck with a small penis, and wanting more money.

6.) Girls I meet online from other states are very sexy.  I can tell by what their instant messages say, their fonts, and their smiley faces.

7.) My only friends are girls I've met online.

8.) Girls I meet online don't realize how small my penis is.

9.) Girls I meet online might read this.

10.) When I'm cured, will my penis size be cured?

11.) This post is funny, admit it.

12.) "My penis size has been cured."  I can't wait to say that or find out what it means.

13.) If you're like me, you're probably hoping for a cure then the opportunity to invite one of the girls you've met online over to your house in order to show them how you've been cured.

14.) I don't know what the hell I'm talking about anymore.

15.) Blah.

16.) If you're cum shot ain't blinding, then your penis size is even more important.

17.) I'm just tellin' you what I heard.

18.) ...What I heard from one of the girls I met online.

19.) My parents read this webpage.  I'm not sure how often.

20.) Mom...Dad...thanks for the small penis.

21.) My parents will tell me to take this post down if they read it.  I won't let that happen.

22.) My website sponsors/publishers/Google people/whatever will not pay me the money they owe me for posting their ads, due to explicit content like this.

23.) That will leave me with less money, a mental illness, and oh by the way, a small penis.

24.) There should be more people like me in the world.  I don't mean people with small penisis, just honest people.  People with small penisis might help too though, because then I might be of normal penis size.

25.) I won't tell you how big my penis is, but I do wear a size 11 shoe.  And I regularly wear 2 shoes....oh yea.

26.) This post is taking longer than 5 minutes for me to write, unlike what I originally said at the beginning.

27.) When I grow up, I'd like to be free of mental illness.  A bigger penis comes with the territory.  I just know it.

28.) Believing your penis gets bigger when you're cured can't qualify as a delusion, can it?

29.) I must type one more thing to make it up to the number 30.

30.) "My name is Zachary.  I'm in debt for paying for too many penis pumps."  Just kidding.  This isn't a funny way to finish this post.  I've seen enough pornos to know that my penis, when erect, isn't that much shorter than a normal penis.  Just wait till I'm cured though ladies...just wait...you'll see the real thing...it's no delusion.

Sunday October, 29 2006 9:58 AM

Dictionary.com says schizophrenia is pronounced:
"skit-suh-free-nee-uh"

I've always heard it pronounced: "skit-suh-fre-nee-uh"

I've also heard:
skiz-suh-fre-nee-uh
skiz-suh-free-nee-uh
skiz-o-fre-nee-uh
skiz-o-free-nee-uh
skeez-suh-fre-nee-uh
skeez-suh-free-nee-uh
skeez-o-fre-nee-uh
skeez-o-free-nee-uh

Keep voting in the web polls on this site you skit-suh-free-nics.

Saturday October, 28 2006 7:34 AM

The Grouchy Crocodilian
By Zachary Odette

Of course said the horse
I'd like that said the cat
NOW I'M ANGRY! said the crocodilian

Let's do a jig said the pig
It's about time said the swine
NOW I'M ANGRY! said the crocodilian

It's almost dawn said the fawn
I hate fog said the dog
NOW I'M ANGRY! said the crocodilian

You're being too loud said the cow
I couldn't agree more said the bore
NOW I'M ANGRY! said the crocodilian

Friday October, 27 2006 1:11 AM

Person 1: You lookin' for trouble?...you found it
Person 2: I believe it would be of your best interest to leave my house then sprint to your car.
Person 1: You talk the talk but do you walk the walk?
Person 2: I thought I told you to beat it then sprint to your car.
Person 1: Oh yea?  Well how about instead I steal your car and then your girlfriend?
Person 2: My girlfriend wouldn't be caught dead with you.
Person 1: That's not what she told me last night.
Person 2: Oh yea?  Well you look like Peter Boyle.
Person 1: You tryin' to say I look like the old man from Everybody Loves Raymond?  More like, I look like Raymond and everybody is referring to your girlfriend.
Person 2: Fine, if you're Raymond Ramono then that means you were in the movie Welcome to Mooseport.  Go play yourself ya stupid moose.
Person 1: Watch your tongue, everybody knows Welcome to Mooseport is arguably the greatest movie of all time.
Person 2: Ya know what?  I bet you have a pet moose you failure.
Person 1: You leave Papageorgio out of this.
Person 2: Well I bet you love Raymond as more than a friend.
Person 1: No one talks to Peter Boyle like that.  I've gotten busy in a Burger King bathroom before.  I bet you can't say that.
Person 2: Well if that's true, then it means you had sex with that welfare bum from Digital Underground.  And by the way, I don't like my oatmeal lumpy.
Person 1: You've crossed the line.

I can't think of any more to say.  Feel free to vote in the 2 polls on this website.  Thanks.

Friday October, 27 2006 12:29 AM

Tigers lost in a tough one tonight.  Wed had a 3-0 lead then blew it 4-5.  I'd like to blame it on the countless number of errors we committed, but do you want to know the real reason we lost?....I wasn't cured and thus playing for the team.  It's just that simple.  You don't believe me?  Wait till I'm cured.  Now it is time to have 1 drink then go to bed.  Wait, forget that, 'cause technically the Tigers aren't out of it.  I wish it would have started raining when David Eckstein was up, so he could break out his coffee cup and cream packets.

"Keep your head in the game David!"
"Can't!"
"Why the hell not?"
"Makin' coffee with the rain!"
"Crimony...bring in Toguchi.  I like Toguchi 'cause he is soooo Taguchi."

Blah.  That's stupid.  Hopefully we play tomorrow and it doesn't rain.  I'd like that.  Common sense says to pitch Kenny Rogers for the Tigers but I don't think el Tigres are going to let that happen for some reason.  Imagine if Kenny Rogers does pitch though...

"What's that on your hand Kenny?" - Coach Leyland
"I was itching my ass all day." - Detroit Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers
"Why the hell did you do that?" - Coach Leyland
"Wait till I throw a no hitter.  No pitcher throws a no hitter without sh*t on his hand." - Kenny Rogers

Whatever, Kenny Rogers can pitch a great game with or without sh*t on his hand.  But imagine if when the umpire does see sh*t on Kenny's hand again during the game and then he asks, "What the hell is that on your hand?" and then Kenny Rogers says, "It's sh*t.  Ya know, like when you wipe your ass without toiletpaper.  I put my own sh*t on the ball on accident."  "Very well," says the ump.  "Don't worry Tony LaRusa and Jim Leyland, Kenny had an accident on his hand and everything is okay."

"I refuse to play with this ball," says Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina.
"Here, let me wash it off for ya Yadier," says Ivan 'Pudge' Rodriguez, as he wipes the ball on his ass.
Then the ump says, "This is getting out of hand.  If someone else wipes sh*t on the ball then I am calling the game.  No amount of rain can get all of this shit off the ball."

And that is the real story of why game 4 was originally cancelled....There was just way too much sh*t on the ball.

And on top of that, I, Zachary Odette, heard on the internet that So Taguchi put sh*t on the ball in game 5.  I'm just tellin' you what I heard.



Wednesday October, 25 2006 9:19 PM

Things I thought of today that should exist:

1.) Schools for the mentally ill.  (Please vote in the poll on the right menu.)

2.) Fast-food spaghetti places....It's just that simple.

3.) Another Air Bud sequel. "Air Bud: Pooch Punt" <==Air Bud becomes the punter on the football team.

4.) More hate-mail to sportswriter Pat Forde.  (Click here if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

5.) The final Air Bud sequel. "Air Bud: The mutt gets cut" <===Air Bud is cut from the team and then decides to retire.

and one last one...6.) The Biggest Loser TV Show - strictly for people who take meds that make them gain weight



Tuesday October, 24 2006 6:29 PM

Here is an ESPN.com article where in the very first sentence, a sports writer named Pat Forde jokes about Michigan State's college football team being "schizophrenic".  I sent him an email that told him to "go f*ck himself" in hope to stir up some controversy in order to get mental illness treated better and quicker.  Here's his email if you want to follow my lead:

Pat Forde is a senior writer for ESPN.com. He can be reached at ESPN4D@aol.com.



Tuesday October, 24 2006 1:33 AM

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.  Every day this week, including tonight, I have felt a rush of anxiety before I go to sleep.  I just get the feeling something bad is going to happen to me.  I am typing right now to try and get my mind off of the anxiety.  I must talk about something.



The World Series is tied at 1-1 with both the Detroit Tigers and St. Louis Cardinals having one win.  Meanwhile, something fishy was found on Kenny Rogers, of the Tigers, pitching hand during game 2, a game in which the Tigers won.  Rogers claimed the foreign substance was dirt, and he then preceded to wash off the "dirt" after the first inning.  His pitching performance was unaffected after the dirt was washed off seemingly making the dirt irrelevant to Rogers pitching better.  However, if you take a look at Rogers's pitching hand during an ALCS game verse the Oakland A's, the "dirt" is on his pitching hand during that game too.



This can only mean 1 of 3 things

1.) Kenny Rogers cheated by adding a foreign substance to his hand which allowed him to pitch better.
2.) Dirt was coincidentally found on Kenny Roger's pitching hand in multiple games.
3.) Kenny Rogers likes to garden before games.

If you're a Tigers fan, like myself, you'd like to believe it's either number 2 or 3.  If you are a St. Louis fan, you'd like to believe it is number 3 and then have Rogers along with Detroit's team punished in some way.  And if you don't care for sports, you might think the guy who sells chicken also plays for the Detroit Tigers.  Blah.  Must keep mind occupied until I fall asleep.  I hate symptoms.

Should Kenny Rogers receive some sort of punishment, such as a suspension, I quote Cosmo Kramer in advance when I say, "Kenny, come back."  Fortunately for the Detroit Tigers, it appears the umpires and Major League Baseball believe Rogers and his dirt theory, so no punishment will be made.  Meanwhile, game 3 of the World Series begins tonight in St. Louis where the weather will be warmer meaning David "Twitch" Eckstein of the Cardinals will not need to be drinking coffee in the dugout.



Monday October, 23 2006 5:15 PM

Today I am rewarding you visitors with a 2nd post.  And there's no better post than ones about phobias...

Fear of:

Things on the left side of the body - Levophobia
Things on the right side of the body - Dextrophobia
Very strange...

Chins - Geniophobia
"Ah!  Get your chin away from me!"

Knees - Genuphobia
Imagine if someone had Genuphobia (fear of knees) along with Geniophobia (fear of chins)
"Hey, I was just wondering, what are you more afraid of - chins or knees?"
"Oooo, that's a tough one."

Number 8 - Octophobia
"AHHHH!  It's the number 8!!!  Oh wait, nevermind, it's the number 9.  That was pretty f*ckin' close though..."

Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth - Arachibutyrophobia
Hahaha.
"My favorite food is peanut butter but I have Arachibutyrophobia!"

Puppets - Pupaphobia
"Yea, I know where your puppet is.  I killed him.  He was freakin' me out."

Seeing oneself in a mirror - Eisoptrophobia
Another person I would love to see...

Standing up - Stasiphobia
"Stand up."
"No."
"I said STAND UP."
"No dammit."
"I'm sorry sir, you're going to have to stand up for the National Anthem."
"F*ck you."
"That's it.  Someone help me get this guy to stand up."
"Nooooooooooo..."

Steep slopes - Bathmophobia
"Like I've always said about slopes, the steeper they get the scarier they get.  Ya know what I mean?"
"What the hell are you talking about?  You're afraid of slopes?"
"Heck yea."

Teenagers - Ephebiphobia
I find this one really funny for some reason.  It would be even funnier though if it was "Ephebipobia - Fear of teenage mutant ninja turtles."

Dancing - Chorophobia
"I gotta get outta here.  I think that person over there is gonna start dancing."
"You've said that about 10 people today and not one of them has started dancing."
(All of a sudden, over a random loudspeaker in the room..."EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!")

Shadows - Sciophobia or Sciaphobia
Okay...this one might be the funniest.
"How 'bout I shadow box your brains out you Sciophobe?"

I could go on forever with these, but I'm gonna stop right now.



Monday October, 23 2006 morning time

1.) The race is on.  Snuggles the Bear is off to an early lead.

2.) What has more water?  1 million blades of grass or 1 ocean?  You must remember there are 1 million blades of grass and only 1 ocean.  That is why the answer is 1 million blades of grass.  You are incorrect.

3.) Do you want to know what a fight involving former NBA and Detroit Pistons star Bill Laimbeer sounds like?  Click here.



4.) The race is on.

5.) The race is on.  Snuggles the Bear is off to an early lead.

6.) The race is on.

7.) Snuggles the Bear is off to an early lead.

8.) The race is on.  The Energizer Bunny intends to win.

9.) The race is on.  The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

10.) The race is over.  Snuggles the Bear's car ran out of fabric softener.



Friday October, 20 2006 11:08 PM

I know I said in my last post that I'd wait until the tomorrow (October 21st) to make another post, but I feel like writing and I am kind of bored, so here is another post for today, October 20th.

You want to know one thing that sucks about personality disorders?  If you have one, then you have it from the moment you are born.  You never get to experience living without yours.  With schizophrenia, at least you get to be normal for about the first 14-15 years of your life, or depending on when it hits you.  But on the other hand, schizophrenia is far more severe than any of the personality disorders though, so it sucks more.  I feel like pointing this out just now because no one understands the severity of personality disorders and because schizophrenia sucks.  My psychiatrist still doesn't know what I have, but she says it's prefix schizo, along with bipolar disorder.  For some reason, this post makes me think I'm going to receive hate mail.  I got hate mail once, and only once to my knowledge, and I remember it basically said:

1.) Nothing is wrong with you.
2.) It's all in your head
3.) You people are what's wrong with the world
4.) You complain too much
5.) I've done more research on mental illness and psychiatric drugs than you.
6.) I'm helping you, trust me.
7.) You need to have your estrogen level lowered.
8.) I know someone who was prescribed antipsychotics who didn't need them and got him all f*cked up.
9.) You have food, water, and shelter and yet you all of you still complain.
10.) I know you're gonna put this on your website.

And on top of that, I think he might have mentioned to "lay off Tom Cruise" in the email too, but I'm not positive.

Anyway, the point of me telling you all of this is because the person who sent the hate mail must have been Tom Cruise.

And speaking of Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible III comes out on DVD on October 30, 2006.  Do not rent it.  When it came out in theatres I told all of you not to go see it then half the damn country saw it, making Tom Cruise even more wealthy and likely more confident about scientology.  I partially blame myself for that because I put a big MI-III picture on this webpage then under it in a tiny font I wrote "do not see this movie."  My mistake.  This time I will try to make it more clearer, my friends.
 

DO NOT rent Mission Impossible III starring Tom Cruise, (the man who may have sent me hate mail.) Rent this movie instead: Air Bud This movie is obviously far better...Just look at the box cover.

Now I would like to point out a few other things regarding this post:

1.) Mental illnesses exist and they suck.
2.) Antipsychotics and other psychiatric drugs are not even close to a cure for mental illnesses, but they are effective in treating them in my opinion.
3.) I realize the person who sent me hate mail probably wasn't Tom Cruise.
4.) Air Bud grossed over $24,000,000 in theatres for a reason.



Friday October, 20 2006 8:22 PM

I tried searching "Air Bud" on Amazon.com and Amazon recommended a movie to me "based on my browsing history."

Ladies and gentlemen, Amazon recommends....

Soccer Dog and the creators of this film even made a sequel... Soccer Dog: European Cup and we musn't forget... Air  Bud: World Pup

Now this presents a problem if you are wanting to view a movie about a dog playing soccer.   Which is why Amazon.com sells the 2 films in one package!



I know what you're thinking...life doesn't get much sweeter than owning 2 different movies about a dog playing soccer.  Well, you're wrong.  The producers of Air Bud just so happened to have another trick up their sleeve.  They present to you...

MVP: Most Valuable Primate

Hahahaha.

And guess what MVP does during the off season?  He hits the half pipes.

MVP: Most Vertical Primate

And you know what else MVP does?  He's carves...big time.

MVP: Most Xtreme Primate

Okay, that's enough.  I'm signing my dogs up for sports this fall and then I'm buying a chimp.  In the mean time, feel free to support this site while I'm gone.  There are several good schizophrenia links on this page.  And the more support I get, the better the site gets.  And don't think you're supporting the site for no reason.  Yesterday I ordered 150 brochures from NAMI.org (50 brochures of "An Illness Like Any Other: Mental Illnesses are Brain Disorders" and 100 brochures of "Understanding Schizophrenia and Recovery").  I intend to put these brochures in mailboxes in my neighborhood late one night this week.  That's it, I'm outta here.  I'll be back tomorrow before the Tiger's game.





Thursday October, 19 2006 12:08 PM

Did you know Hollywood made 5 different Air Bud movies?

1.) Air Bud (1997)
2.) Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998)
3.) Air Bud: World Pup (2000)
4.) Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (2002)
5.) Air Bud: Spikes Back (2003)

Then there was the Air Bud film that never made it to theatres:

Air Bud: Pinch Runner "Get down Air Bud, get down!"

I probably should start talking about something other than Air Bud.  But before I do, let me tell you about the other Air Bud film that never made it to theatres:

Air Bud: Golden Receiver (director's cut)

That is how Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998)  lead to Air Bud: World Pup (2000)

Air Bud: World Pup See?  He had offspring.

Okay, I'm almost done talking about Air Bud.  But before I stop, read the plot to the original Air Bud.  I've underlined my favorite parts.

"The plot revolves around a 12-year-old boy, Josh Framm, who has an interest in basketball. After the death of his father, Josh moves with his family to a new town and is too shy to try out for his middle school's basketball team and too shy to make any friends. Through a series of coincidences, Josh meets Buddy, a dog who escaped his cruel alcoholic clown owner. Josh soon learns that Buddy has an uncanny ability to play the sport of basketball. Next, Buddy becomes Josh's school's basketball team's mascot and begins appearing in their halftime shows. However, when it is discovered that there is no rule that a dog can't play basketball, Buddy joins the roster."

I wish I had a dog on my middle school basketball team...


Time to talk about something else.  Hmmm...

Hey, it's Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland.


"Coach, how does it feel to lead a team that lost 119 games just three years ago to the World Series making it the franchise's first appearance there in 22 years?"

"To be honest I'd rather have a beer."

Okay, I'm done.  If I can come up with more material I'll try to make another humorous post tomorrow.

In the mean time, if you want to support this site there are some great advertisements for you.

Tuesday October, 17 2006 8:16 PM

I was reading on schizophrenia.com and found out there is going to be another "schizophrenia movie," which is a good thing.  It is called Canvas, and here is a link to the movie's homepage where you can view the trailer.

I hope Hollywood makes a movie about me some day.  It would be called "The 21 Year-Old Virgin...who is mentally ill."  I like the sound of that.  Then maybe a sequel could be made 10 years later called, "The 31 Year-Old Sex Addict...who isn't mentally ill."  And then, if there is another sequel which would complete the trilogy, it would be called, "The 64 Year-Old Senile Father of Senile Porn."  Blah.  I tell ya, if there is a cure for psychosis (or way to live with it or whatever) by the time I am 31, that'd be good.  What the hell is taking so long for a cure though?  It doesn't help that everyone took a break from working on one from the years 1970-1990.  All the scientists were probably working on curing a runny nose or jacking off during those years.  Maybe I'll just have to discover a cure myself.  "The Virgin Has Done It," would be the title of that film.  Or what if a dog discovers a cure somehow and Hollywood makes a movie about it.  "Labrador Retriever Does It In the Labratory...take that Air Bud."  Haha.  You all know Air Bud, don't you?...that dog that plays sports.  Seriously, those Air Bud movies must be so bad.  How the hell does a dog shoot a basketball or catch a football?  They should make an instructional baseball video starring Air Bud called, "Air Bud Teaches How to Bunt."  Haha.  Or maybe Hollywood should start making a bunch of funny Air Bud sports movies like these:

"Air Bud tears his ACL and Air Buddy fills in."
"Air Bud teaches the doggy paddle then teaches doggy style."
"Air Bud is traded for an animal to be named later."
"Air Bud skips Obedience School and enters the NBA draft."
"Air Bud gets rabies."
"Air Bud goes to the bathroom on the pitcher's mound."
"The League suspends Air Bud for testing positive for steroids, chocolate, and heroin."
"Air Bud gets beaned in the face and is put on the disabled list."
"Air Bud gets neutered during rookie hazing."
"Air Bud fights Rocky Balboa."
"Air Bud contracts the HIV virus and is forced to give up basketball."
"Air Bud flirts with .400, wins the triple crown, knocks in 74 Homers, then retires."
"Air Bud and the Portland Trailblazers are arrested by Air McGruff."
"Air Bud fights a kangaroo and gets f*cked up."
"Air Bud chases an animal that runs onto the field...then has sex with it."
"Air Bud teaches the bowflex."
"Air Bud throws a perfect game then throws the game."
"Derek Jeter has a severe allergic reaction to Air Bud."
"The goal post falls on Air Bud."
"Air Bud cramps up in left field from eating too many Wheaties."
"Air Bud puts yet another curse on the Chicago Cubs."

Okay, I have to stop there.  It's getting absurd.  Now I must go have another cup of coffee.
 

He came, he saw, he dunked.

Monday October, 16 2006 1:53 PM

1.) There are now 2 different logos rotating up above, thanks to Eyeball Design.

2.) There is a new poll.  What is your diagnosis?

3.) The Detroit Tigers are in the World Series

4.) The Detroit Tigers are going to win the World Series.

5.) If the Detroit Tigers don't win the World Series then we (Michiganders) can fall back on the Pistons and Redwings.

6.) The Detroit Lions have never been good in my life time.

7.) The Detroit Lions should fire Matt Millen then feed him to the team or real lions or something.

8.) The college football Michigan Wolverines are also in the running to be champs.

9.) Some guy who was stalking Michigan football coach Lloyd Carr and sending him threatening emails is forced to have a psychiatric evaluation.

10.) Ladies and gentleman, I am not that stalker.

Saturday October, 14 2006 10:39 PM

We're goin' to the World Series!

Saturday October, 14 2006 12:09 PM

My last update sucked so here's one that might make you die laughing.  Not really.

I made a post once about potential band names I could use if I were ever in a band and these were the ones I came up with:

- The Meaning of Life
- The Heretics
- The Latency Period
- The Ivy League
- Ear Orgasm
- Your New Religion
- The Guinea pigs
- The People That Might Be Raising Your Children
- We Prefer to be left Anonymous

Pretty funny, eh?

Well, here is a list of new potential band names I just came up with minutes ago (some of them are a little ridiculous):

- The Scented Candles
- The Hidden Gems
- Milli Vanilli Milkshake
- Emu Attack
- The Superbowl Halftime Show
- The Crowd Pleasers
- Analytical Geometry at NASA Headquarters
- It's Pronounced "Bud-weis-er"
- Your Relatives You've Never Met
- The Roadies Who Learned to Rock
- Tom Cruise?



Friday October, 13 2006 8:45 PM

I'm kickin ass in fantasy football.  Check out the pics.  My team is Transformers Voyeur.  Get it?  Voyeurism = spy on people changing.  And transformers are always transforming, or in other words, changing.

I know you females dig me now that I'm a fantasy football stud.  As of week 5:

Picture 1 <==the league standings
Picture 2 <==my team

I just offered a trade to someone, LT for McNabb.  We'll see what happens.



Thursday October, 12 2006 9:00 PM

Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!  Again!!!!!!!



Thursday October, 12 2006 12:18 PM

Nothing like a light snow on October 12th in Flint, Michigan.



I'm moving to Florida some day.



Wednesday October, 11 2006 5:34 PM

Yaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!



Monday October, 9 2006 1:28 PM

I found a humorous mental illness-related song online by a band called I Hate Kate.  The Song is called "I'm In Love With A Sociopath."



DOWNLOAD "I'M IN LOVE WITH A SOCIOPATH" BY I HATE KATE

Visit I Hate Kate on MySpace.



Saturday October, 7 2006 7:37 PM

Who here watches baseball?  My Detroit Tigers just beat the New York Yankees to move on to the next round in the playoffs.  Just think that three years ago we lost 119 games.
 

ALTHOUGH, I am currently watching the Tigers celebrate as if we just won the World Series, if we get swept by Oakland I am going to become unglued.  Gotta love that word...Mmmmm...glue.



Thursday October, 5 2006 4:57 PM



Oh yea, and I made a new guitar riff if you want to HEAR IT.



Monday October, 2 2006 7:55 PM

8 things to say today...





(1) I was able to get pictures and audio of me on television onto the internet, but not the whole video file (because the video file was far too jumbo in megabytes)

(2) Above are just some screenshots of me on television.  Here is the audio file of it.  As you can hear, I am lifeless and stupid, but hey, that's poker.  Wait, I mean, but hey, I guess I'm lifeless and stupid.

(3) My beagle is not named Swartz Creek.  Swartz Creek is the name of the town I live in.

(4) My dogs do not play poker.

(5) I am now a child TV star who will be on an upcoming episode of ER starring as "the (confused and nude) patient."

(6) If you can name the tune I am playing on the guitar in the beginning of the audio clip then you play too much Super Mario Brothers.

(7) If you didn't get my poker jokes earlier above, then let me explain.  "Hey, that's poker," is a common phrase said at the poker table by lucky winners.  Dogs playing poker is a popular painting.  The shirt I am wearing during the interview is a 2005 World Series of Poker t-shirt.  And I, Zachary Odette, am going to win the 2007 World Series of Poker...while confused and in the nude.

(8) If you move to Swartz Creek, Michigan as a result of reading this post, then we should probably hang out.  I know a great place where we can get cheap beer - the place I used to work at, Kroger!  Can I get an alley-oop Grandma?  I don't even know what that means.



Sunday October, 1 2006 12:02 PM

Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well.

About as many people find this webpage by searching "Johnny Depp" or something along those lines as they do by searching "Zachary Odette" in search engines.  I'm not sure why that is, because I never recall talking about Johnny Depp on this webpage, but anyway, you be the judge.



A few other things worth mentioning:

1.) Something is wrong with my thyroid gland.  I'm not sure what so I have to go back and see the doctor about it, but I was already prescribed medication for it which I am taking daily now.  The medication speeds me up a little, which is good because it prevents me from sleeping 12 hours a day like a Michigan wolverine preparing for hibernation.  (I've actually heard wolverines don't exist in Michigan).  Another pill to take daily.

2.) Yesterday I got my DVD in the mail of me on the news where I talk about my website and my condition.  I will try to put it on the internet once I figure out how, but I'm sure that with my luck putting it on the internet will require expensive software and possibly depression.

3.) And one last thing, check out my newest website creation, SCHIZOPHRENIAFAQ.COM, (schizophrenia frequently asked questions).  It's like this site, but with more information and less nonsense.  It's the schizophrenia website of the future.